It's always so awkward when you have eat with someone who you normally just talk to. Today, I have to face that awkwardness in full force: I'm going to a business luncheon-- Ickkk.
See, it's not the business part, nor the lunch part (certainly not the lunch part) that I dislike, but rather the whole idea of being in the middle of a conference with your mouth full when someone directs a question at you. Or smelling like a giant garlic loogie. Or getting sauce all over my face, or crumbs all around me. Or looking like a food-obsessed fattie. Or having food stuck in my teeth and looking like a humongous slob... You get the point.
Not that I have a weird phobia or anything...
We can all relate to this. Have you ever gone to a study group that meets over a meal? Maybe even with the person you like sitting right across from you? And all you think about is "Oh my gosh- There has to be something in my teeth, because he/she would never look at me this much otherwise!" Yeah, well haven't we all.
I remember the horrific days of travelling with my parents: we would get on the airplane or stop in the gas station, and she would whip out Pandora's dreaded lunchbox. All the containers would come out wet with condensation, and as they would open, the atmosphere around us would shrivel up with the heavy odors of (pre-veg days) smoked fish and cold cuts, mustard, onions, slick olives, stinky cheese, and super-strong dressing on a cold, wilted salad. We would spread out all the wet containers and start arranging our food into some kind of edible concoction. It would get all over everything. The condiments would drip out the bottom, the food would blast out the top onto your face and your clothing. This was anything but a neat operation. No. Fun. At. All.
Even when I was seven, when I was supposed to be completely socially unaware, I realized there was something wrong with the food choices my parents were making.
So let's readdress all those issues that were so disturbing to me: smell, neatness, convenience, even daintiness. I fretted: How do I create a meal I can take with me that fulfills all these requirements? But y'know, when I was packing up my lunch today (I can't order food. Remember the whole kosher thing?), I realized that there were a ton of ways to avoid uncomfortable situations. I set up a meal perfect for the circumstances.
Here's what I packed, all in separate plastic containers, to be eaten room temperature:
Fake chicken nuggets with a bit of Parmasean sprinkled into the container, tomato sauce, Salad, dressing (I made it myself- a spicy/creamy number), a few leftover roasted potato cubes (for my sister, who can't eat a meal without more starch than neccessary), and some yoghurt layered with homemade plum conserves on the top. Sounds pretty good, eh?
I chose those items, firstly, because they were super easy, taste good at room temperature (so I didn't have to add an ice pack, which creates that godforsaken nasty condensation) and half of them were already in the refrigerator. Also, they aren't smelly or cumbersome, while still being delicious and healthy (save the potatoes). Another huge advantage of those foods, which we always forget, is that they're very easy to eat in bites, so your mouth is never really full, and they're perfect to eat with one hand, either with your fingers or with a fork. No cutting or two-hand foods involved, so you can just take a bite and not seem totally absorbed by your food, or get your hands all messy when you have to suddenly pick up a pen and write a note. As an extra, none of them really crunches loudly or makes crumbs, either.
Another little trick that I slipped in was cutting the salad into just the right size pieces, because if they're really long, they stick out of your mouth and flick dressing all over the place, besides the fact that you have to mutilate your face to get it all in. It's simple, but this little technique works like a charm. Just cut the lettuce leaf vertically down the middle before chopping normally. People actually notice how neat you look eating your salad, and I have to say, they seem to be quite jealous. Plus, it's just more comfortable to eat.
Your meal looks especially nice when everything is in its own container. And when it's all packed into a nice paper shopping bag (my "grown up" lunchbox was a small Saks Fifth Avenue bag!) it's neat and convenient, too. With utensils and a napkin, I was set for a fantastic, not awkward meal that my taste buds, the rest of my body, and my coworkers, could all enjoy.
See, it's not the business part, nor the lunch part (certainly not the lunch part) that I dislike, but rather the whole idea of being in the middle of a conference with your mouth full when someone directs a question at you. Or smelling like a giant garlic loogie. Or getting sauce all over my face, or crumbs all around me. Or looking like a food-obsessed fattie. Or having food stuck in my teeth and looking like a humongous slob... You get the point.
Not that I have a weird phobia or anything...
We can all relate to this. Have you ever gone to a study group that meets over a meal? Maybe even with the person you like sitting right across from you? And all you think about is "Oh my gosh- There has to be something in my teeth, because he/she would never look at me this much otherwise!" Yeah, well haven't we all.
I remember the horrific days of travelling with my parents: we would get on the airplane or stop in the gas station, and she would whip out Pandora's dreaded lunchbox. All the containers would come out wet with condensation, and as they would open, the atmosphere around us would shrivel up with the heavy odors of (pre-veg days) smoked fish and cold cuts, mustard, onions, slick olives, stinky cheese, and super-strong dressing on a cold, wilted salad. We would spread out all the wet containers and start arranging our food into some kind of edible concoction. It would get all over everything. The condiments would drip out the bottom, the food would blast out the top onto your face and your clothing. This was anything but a neat operation. No. Fun. At. All.
Even when I was seven, when I was supposed to be completely socially unaware, I realized there was something wrong with the food choices my parents were making.
So let's readdress all those issues that were so disturbing to me: smell, neatness, convenience, even daintiness. I fretted: How do I create a meal I can take with me that fulfills all these requirements? But y'know, when I was packing up my lunch today (I can't order food. Remember the whole kosher thing?), I realized that there were a ton of ways to avoid uncomfortable situations. I set up a meal perfect for the circumstances.
Here's what I packed, all in separate plastic containers, to be eaten room temperature:
Fake chicken nuggets with a bit of Parmasean sprinkled into the container, tomato sauce, Salad, dressing (I made it myself- a spicy/creamy number), a few leftover roasted potato cubes (for my sister, who can't eat a meal without more starch than neccessary), and some yoghurt layered with homemade plum conserves on the top. Sounds pretty good, eh?
I chose those items, firstly, because they were super easy, taste good at room temperature (so I didn't have to add an ice pack, which creates that godforsaken nasty condensation) and half of them were already in the refrigerator. Also, they aren't smelly or cumbersome, while still being delicious and healthy (save the potatoes). Another huge advantage of those foods, which we always forget, is that they're very easy to eat in bites, so your mouth is never really full, and they're perfect to eat with one hand, either with your fingers or with a fork. No cutting or two-hand foods involved, so you can just take a bite and not seem totally absorbed by your food, or get your hands all messy when you have to suddenly pick up a pen and write a note. As an extra, none of them really crunches loudly or makes crumbs, either.
Another little trick that I slipped in was cutting the salad into just the right size pieces, because if they're really long, they stick out of your mouth and flick dressing all over the place, besides the fact that you have to mutilate your face to get it all in. It's simple, but this little technique works like a charm. Just cut the lettuce leaf vertically down the middle before chopping normally. People actually notice how neat you look eating your salad, and I have to say, they seem to be quite jealous. Plus, it's just more comfortable to eat.
Your meal looks especially nice when everything is in its own container. And when it's all packed into a nice paper shopping bag (my "grown up" lunchbox was a small Saks Fifth Avenue bag!) it's neat and convenient, too. With utensils and a napkin, I was set for a fantastic, not awkward meal that my taste buds, the rest of my body, and my coworkers, could all enjoy.
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